Saturday, May 7, 2011

.....Breaking News....Elouthera Bridge Shootings.....Breaking News....

The Polizi were today reeling after revelations over "egregarius mishandling and cover ups" over the investigation of an alleged multiple shooting on Elouthera Bridge last night.

In an intial statement released at 4.30 am , the Polizi claimed that they had responded to a traffic incident on the bridge and that reports of shooting had in fact been numerous cars backfiring. By 0930 the story had changed, now there had indeed been shots fired but that it was a minor disturbance and that no one had been hurt.

By 10.35, the Presidential Council had taken the unusual step of calling in the Narkotika Interventura to investgate the incident, stating that "the role of Chief of Operations Pavaroff in this matter leaves us no alternative but to require his resignation". Comissioner Methodius was unavaliable for comment.

At 11.40 Colonel Themis Mavropoulos of the NI made the following statement:
"The initial investigation by NI officers of the crime scene revealed three cars all riddled with bullets, four significant bloodstains on the road and numerous spent rounds in 7.62mm and 9mm calibre, the latter compatible to those used in the Yarygin Pya, although some, to be precise, eight, have not yet been identified. The initial conclusion is that two cars were used to block in the third - a DBS - and that a brief firefight followed. This was clearly an attempted murder, though participants and motive are highly uncertain. Our investigation is ongoing and we wish to interview the owners of an unmarked go-fast boat which was seen moving south, very fast, on the Treb River at the time."

Colonel Mavropoulos, posing for an NI recruitment poster

Meanwhile an American tourist who spoke to us on condition of anonymity said, "I was leaving the nightclub with this Russian wife...I was leaving the cafe with my WIFE, when I heard shooting about 150 metres away to the NE, I guess by the ramp for that big bridge. I kissed some pavement, taking Olga...Amy...taking AMY, down with me. It sounded like say two shooters with AKs and two more with handguns, just letting rip. Then another guy would fire, two rounds at a time, very deliberate. Then it went quiet and we dusted out stat. You got that? You don't syndicate this stuff do you?"

The abandoned DBS on Elouthera bridge (the bullet holes are on far the side of the car)

No one from the Trebizon Government has yet made any comment, though we were able to speak with Mr Panos Vassos, a former Senior Detective in the Homicide Department who commented, "this, it was amateur; these guys, they were not serious. If they had approached this correctly, then only one man would have been hurt. As it is, there is someone out there, someone who is very serious indeed."

We will bring more on this story as it breaks, now back to Alcovian Housewives, our popular subscription only reality show.......

1 comment:

Eli Arndt said...

I can hear the thrilling music in my mind :)