Businessman's death suicide confirm Polizi

Trebizon-Hav Polizi today confirmed that the death of Mr Gerry Urquhart was suicide. Mr Urquhart was found in his office by his secretary Ms Camisa Lombardi on Wednesday morning. Commissioner Methodius announced that “our highly trained murder squad deduced that he had tried to shoot himself in the heart, missed and then managed to shoot himself in the head. Our criminal psychologist agrees this is indicative of a sadly worried mind.”

Mr Urquhart had been the Hav Business Director of International Exports (London) Ltd for ten years. The stunned local business community has had little to say over Mr Urquhat’s sad demise. Mr Spiros Vondas of the Hav Chamber of Commerce and a locally respected businessman did agree to make a short statement after a Chamber meeting.

“Gerry was a great guy, he was, like a brother to me. He was a serious man, you could do business with him. You didn’t need insurance with Gerry. He’ll be replaced but this new guy won’t be Gerry – that I am sure of.”


Mr Vondas (right) during a meeting of the Chamber of Commerce

In an unrelated item of news, the Hav Centro tram station has reopened after what the Interior Ministry referred to as “a minor overnight security incident”. A man in evening dress was seen leaving the area but has been discounted by the Polizi – “he was probably some Englishman leaving the Casino after a long night celebrating the Royal Wedding. I’d celebrate too if Miss Pippa Middleton was from Trebizon” commented Commissioner Methodius.


Commissioner Methodius admiring the view outside Westminster Abbey

Dynamo 2 - Athletik 2 - Polizi 300

There was a night of rioting in the Balad as the hometeam failed to beat the visiting Athletik in a tense high scoring game. The trouble started as goats were let onto the pitch by the Athletik fans in a deliberate move to bait the notoriously aggressive Dynamo crowd.

Commissioner of Police Methodius was heard on a police scanner advising his men "that's torn it; the Agris are going to go crazy. It's going to be a long night. Stand by all units; switch frequencies and activate jamming now...."

A flare erupts in Balad Zentro

The trouble was contained in the Balad and some 300 arrests were made; Polizi casualties were minimal and Minister of Interior Blaroj has already praised the Commissioner and "the brave men of the Polizi who ensured this violence did not spread and worry our tourist guests."

 

Commissioner Methodius monitoring events

from his command centre

  

Local News From Trebizon

Commissioner Of Public Works Petr Brokoj was today unavailable for comment over claims that Eleuthera Bridge – which featured in the recent e-campaign “Welcome to Trebizon” – is a white elephant. Mr Theo Vassos, his Deputy Spokesman did, however, go on the record. “That bridge is, it is important, it is a symbol but also, an investment” said Mr Vassos, “We have a lot of ships flying our merchant flag and the bridge links Trebizon to Hav, which where the deep berths are. You come to me and say “Vassos, how can I berth my supercontainer ship?” and without that Bridge, I look like a fool. With that bridge - I can show you we are serious people in Trebizon”.

Mr Deputy Spokesman Vassos, with Hav Docks in the background

Meanwhile, the Royale Casino Charity Evening raised over Fifty Thousand zeks. His Excellency President Gjodjon Bronjovic and his wife led the first dance to popular applause. At the tables, business was brisk with Mr Kadashian Kadashian of Kadashian Kredit acting as an unpaid croupier “all my tips go to the bank – my bank” quipped the multi-millionaire businessman. Security was tight and Colonel Brajik of the National Guard claimed “you couldn’t get a very small goat in here without me knowing”. Dmitri Zog, ace striker of the Balad Dynamo XI then produced a very small goat and was fined on the spot by Colonel Brajik who promptly donated the “fine” to the President’s Charity. Mr George Vondos, the President’s First Secretary was escorted by Polizi motorcyclists as he took the evening’s proceeds to be banked at a champagne reception at the Banque National of Trebizon-Hav on Calle Radimeu.

The Royale Casino

Commissioner Methodius of the Hav Polizi reported that there were no disturbances in the Balad overnight “as long as those Byzerks don’t get drunk and beat up the place, all will be fine”, commented the Commissioner, “I just hope Dynamo win on Saturday and we can all stand down. If Athletik Hav win then I’m cancelling all leave. I do of course guarantee that any trouble will be contained in the Balad.”

Welcome to sunny Trebizon, the throbbing heart of the Borka Riviera. Here is a view of the famous resort of Epirou, with its numerous bars, restaurants and casinos. You are guaranteed a fun time in our high class, friendly resort!

It’s not just sun, sand and relaxation here though! Our internationally famous banking privacy laws and centuries of entrepreneurial enterprise have put us at the cutting edge of the Offshore Banking and Financial Services Industry. Our clientele come from all over the world and many leave their yachts in our marina, visiting them perhaps in their private jets and high performance speed boats.

Of course, in the 21st Century, any country has to think about security but here in Trebizon we have been proud hosts to the United Nations Mentoring Force Trebizon-Hav (UNMENTH) for some 15 years. You can be assured that the most modern security techniques are in use here by our Polizi, our National Guard and our elite, Spetznatz trained, Crisis Reaction Brigade.

Our history is a proud one – as the Levantine Republic of Hav-Trebizon, we fought for Independence from Alcovia, Byzerk, the Grande Porte, the Italians and the Germans. Over the years we have been a major Ally to the British (Epirou was called Port Havelock for five years and there is a statue of Queen Victoria in our Grand Square of The Republic!), the French, the Russians, Alcovia, and Italy (Garibaldi fought here too you know!).

So, for sun, sea, sand, discrete financial advice, an understanding and flexible maritime registry and a democratic regime with sound credentials – look no further than the Trebizon Riviera!