Trouble in the Borku?

Jeremy Paxman: "......Thank you Evan. So, with the EU crisis rumbling on, it cannot be any consolation for the EU leaders that trouble is not confined to the eurozone. Down in the Borku, things are pretty ugly too; there's been a civil war in Alcovia for almost a year and now, apparently, the Alcovian King, Ullo, is looking to pick a fight with the neighbouring state of Trebizon-Hav. I am joined by Martin Bell, BBC War Correspondent and former MP, and Mr Jeff Ross, formerly of the US State Department. Gentlemen, just what the dickens is going on?"

Martin Bell

Martin Bell: "Well, Jeremy, many people would say King Ullo is simply making the usual noises."

Paxman: "The usual noises?"

Jeff Ross

Jeff Ross: "Martin is probably right but for the wrong reason, there is no real indication, firm attribution, that Ullo said anything of the kind."

Paxman: "Mmm. So, what did someone say that Ullo may have said?"

Ross: "Allegedly, he may have said that..."

Bell: "He said 'One of these days we are going to have to level that tiny little City-State' "

Ross: "Allegedly said"

Paxman: "That's pretty clear cut isn't it? I mean there's a lot of history here."

Bell:"From 1453 down to today. I was in the Borku in the mid 80's during the Hav-Trebizon war and I can tell you that there were Alcovian Special Forces and Militia all over the place."

Paxman: "Jeff, you were in the CIA, weren't you, what were the Alcovians up to then?

Ross: "I really have no recollection and wouldn't be disposed to discuss it if I did"

Paxman: "Come on Jeff, you can do better than that!"

Ross: "I seem to recall you Brits had some Alcovian adventures of your own?"

Bell: "I know I did, not that I wanted to. The thing is, Ullo has a civil war on his hands, he's not going to invade anywhere. This is someone close to him stirring the pot and trying to scare Hav."

Ross: "And Hav has come a long way since '86, they have rebuilt, renewed and have a major entrepot down in the deep water harbour at Epirou."

Paxman: "So there you have it, trouble in the Borku, well at least they aren't in the Euro. Goodnight."