Knock Knock...

Who's there?

Alcovia...

Alcovia who?

Alcovia back while you hide under the bed.

Seriously folks. The only way Alcovia's monarchy could appear more unprepared is if you literally found them laying in bed with with a box of tissues and one of their father's adult magazines!

King Ullo...

Wait a minute! Wasn't he He-Man's diminutive sidekick and if so, where are his semi-phenomenal magical powers now that his country really needs them?!

Even more important, why do we even care what's going on in some little tinpot fake Russia? Oh that's right, they have oil and I have it on good authority some of the best darned napalm-roasted hot wings this side of Afghanistan!