Mafiya Boss Arrested in rural Trebizon

Good evening; we interrupt "All New Desperate Alcovian Housewives" with breaking news....

Colonel Mavropoulos of the Narcotina Interventura has just made the following statement:

"I am pleased and honoured to report that Boris Bossiya, the leading figure of the Organised Mafiya in Trebizon has been arrested and is in custody at an undisclosed location. His protegy "Uncle" Vanya Malinov was shot resisting arrest. An NI agent supported, heroically, by members of the Crisis Reaction Brigade, made the arrest in Novij Bokoj late this afternoon. Sadly, Corporal "B" of the CRB was killed in action and three other troopers wounded, one seriously. Two members of the Mafiya were also killed resisting arrest. We are also investigating how a Special Forces from ...... no? I can't say it? These dogs came here and attacked us and I can't say where they came from?? You, from the Ministry, you are a goat. Yes, you! And that mob of Militia - who paid them? Eh? Really? Tell me that again and I'll spit your lie back at you. Hah, anyway, we arrested him, he's singing like a canary. Goodnight."

Local sources are reporting a major firefight in the deserted hamlet. A British tourist, who identified himself as "Birdwatcher A" said, "Yeah, it kicked off big time, loads of AK, RPD even an RPG or two. Those CRB guys really went for it, had too really when that helo of CIS blokes arrived."

Mr Ratvo Molko a local potato farmer also said "I saw this jeep full of militia driving down the road shouting and suddenly the sky, it is full of bullets, big shells! The explosions! It's as if something was firing down from the sky! No more militia, I tell you!"

A picture of an AC130. We can only 

speculate what this picture is telling us.

Mr George Vondos, the President's First Secretary commented, "People say to us, show us Trebizon is tough on crime. This shows we are tough on these Mafiya. You say to me, is Hav safe for business? I say, Hav is serious about being safe for business."

Mr Vondas at the Hav Golf Club